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Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Monday, May 16, 2011
HW 55
Death is a topic that should be looked into not only because its every where but because its part of life, and one cannot escape the inevitabale. I decided to look at the question of how we put a price tag on death, here in the U.S. When people people think of funerals they usually think of the greiving or the funeral itself, etc. but one thing people must consider is the cost of funerals nowadays. A little over 6000 deaths take place in the U.S a day, which is a lot of deaths. Also most people will be responsible for being incharge of a care of the dead for at least one person in thier life time, so this topic should be of some concern to people. There is a saying that goes "I cant afford to die". Which would be rightly said. An averge funeral in the U.S can cost about $6,500 according to the National Funeral Directors Assosiation. Some funerals have enen hit the numbers of $10,000 after adding in pricing of floral and limo. This by the way is a lot of money all of which is a bit unnessiccary. Isnt it odd that people have been convinced to spend a lot of money on an item that has a one time use, and you or anyone will proberably never see again?
When I heard this I thought that mabe this was a way for people to cope with not being active in the care of thier dead. In the past funerals were done by family, and it never occured to anyone else having to play a hand in the car of thier dead, but nowadys its the exact opposite people cant imagine dealing with thier decesed. Becasue families dealt with death themselves back in the days they were more involved and knew what was suposed to happen and were able to go threw the full experiance of death as a familiy. To day that doesnt happen so I feel that people try to make up for not helping by having big, glamourous, and highly expensive funerals to make up for thier lack of not being able to do much prior.
People can get stuck between a rock and a hard place pretty quickly when it comes to a funeral. In one hand they dont want to rack up debt by paying a large amount of money for a funeral but on the other hand one can feel abliged to pay alot for fear that they are honoring the dead and dont want to seem like they dont care about their loved one. Im not saying to just throw a body somwhere but to consider options.
You needn't go into debt in order to honor the dead, however. In many parts of the country, a loved one can be laid to rest with dignity for less, by using creativity. Even those who favor a traditional funeral and burial can save hundreds or thousands of dollars by taking a few simple steps. So I thought that instead of me just stating what is wrong I would also show what "can" be done, in order to save money. Here are some steps to follow:
I also looked at survey numbers for peoples views on funerals.Other survey findings include the following:
1. Funerals matter more than ever
* 92% of those 40 and older said the funeral industry provides meaning and value to the arrangement process, an increase from 86% in 2004
* 95% said that the service was helpful in paying tribute to or commemorating the life of a loved one, a 6% increase from 2004
* 87% said that the service was an important part in helping them begin the healing process after the death of a loved one, a 9-point increase from 2004
Why does this matter? This means more and more people are relizing that funerals are important, and if more people are going to have and prepare for funerals they should be knowledge able in this area.
The $11 billion-a-year industry is largely comprised of privately run firms, with 89 percent of all funeral homes being owned by families, individuals or small independent corporations. What this means, that the cost of tradition has just gotten a profit motive. Paul Dwyer, who has worked a consultant on the funeral industry for 25 years, said that although satisfaction rates were high there was evidence that the unique circumstances of its work allowed prices to rise more rapidly than in other services.
Although funeral homes seem to forget that they are dealing with people who would not like to go in debt there are some funerals that listen to peoples respects. Denise Kantor, from Cruse Bereavement, the country’s largest bereavement charity, said people should not overly worry about whether they can afford a funeral. "Most funeral directors will bend over backwards to accommodate your needs because they understand this is not shopping in M&S, they're dealing with real and raw emotions," she said. Although funeral homes are based on a profit motive there are some that relize they are still dealing with greiving people. In school we had a guest vistors come in that work in the funeral field. Although they could only talk for his company in specific they relized this is an emotionally unstable time in the decesed family member's lives, and said thier soul perpose at work is to try to better serve the people and get involved in each case as best as they can. One of them said that they get so involed they she cried at a funeral for which she didnt even no the man personally, but was there emotionally for the wife. In conclusion one should be aware of the options given to them and should not be afraid to dig around a topic that affects most people. Most importantly people should be wise in the way they go about this process(Care of the dead), not only for the decesed but for one self as well.
Citaions:
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/RetirementandWills/PlanYourEstate/HowToPlanAFuneral.aspx
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7762640.stm
http://www.mindbranch.com/Funeral-Homes-Competitive-R237-201/
http://funeralhomecolumbiasc.com/study/
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/funeral-costs-jump-but-too-few-will-haggle-1784311.html
When I heard this I thought that mabe this was a way for people to cope with not being active in the care of thier dead. In the past funerals were done by family, and it never occured to anyone else having to play a hand in the car of thier dead, but nowadys its the exact opposite people cant imagine dealing with thier decesed. Becasue families dealt with death themselves back in the days they were more involved and knew what was suposed to happen and were able to go threw the full experiance of death as a familiy. To day that doesnt happen so I feel that people try to make up for not helping by having big, glamourous, and highly expensive funerals to make up for thier lack of not being able to do much prior.
People can get stuck between a rock and a hard place pretty quickly when it comes to a funeral. In one hand they dont want to rack up debt by paying a large amount of money for a funeral but on the other hand one can feel abliged to pay alot for fear that they are honoring the dead and dont want to seem like they dont care about their loved one. Im not saying to just throw a body somwhere but to consider options.
You needn't go into debt in order to honor the dead, however. In many parts of the country, a loved one can be laid to rest with dignity for less, by using creativity. Even those who favor a traditional funeral and burial can save hundreds or thousands of dollars by taking a few simple steps. So I thought that instead of me just stating what is wrong I would also show what "can" be done, in order to save money. Here are some steps to follow:
Plan ahead. Talk about death with your spouse and/or parents. Know what they want and commit those wishes to paper. Do they want to be cremated shortly after death with no ceremony? Or do they want a large funeral with a choir -- but absolutely no fancy headstone? Lack of communication is costly.
"There's more psychological baggage surrounding death than any other emotion or life experience -- even sex. And that's why we pay a high price," says Karen Leonard, a researcher for "The American Way of Death Revisited," the update of Jessica Mitford's landmark 1963 muckraking exposé of the funeral industry.
Know your rights. The Federal Trade Commission's "Funeral Rule" requires mortuaries to present a price list of services to consumers before showing them products such as caskets. A new FTC brochure that summarizes your rights is "Paying Final Respects: Your Rights When Buying Funeral Goods and Services." Another detailed but very readable overview is the FTC brochure "Funerals: A Consumer Guide."
Shop around. Many survivors also don't shop around for deals because they consider bargain hunting an affront to the dead. Getting fleeced, however, is hardly a tribute. Even a few quick calls to compare prices once a relative dies can be worthwhile.
"Most people choose a funeral home for the wrong reasons: It's close to their house, or it has served their family in the past," says Joshua Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance. "The range of prices offered by various funeral homes for comparable services is incredibly wide."
The same funeral package that costs $6,000 at one mortuary can be $2,500 across town, says Slocum.
The $800 (or less) funeral
Though prices vary widely around the country, consumer advocates say a sub-$800 funeral is possible in most places. It requires cremation, however, which now occurs in about a third of all deaths. Here's how:
Choose "direct cremation." Direct cremation simply means that the deceased is promptly cremated, without a funeral service or viewing. Direct cremation usually includes transport of the body, cremation and a cardboard or plastic container for the ashes. Embalming -- the temporary preservation of the body by injecting chemicals -- is usually unnecessary if the body is promptly cremated. Avoiding this expense can save several hundred dollars.
Be sure to ask whether the cost of direct cremation includes the crematory fee; that can cost an additional several hundred dollars.
Even cremation prices can vary -- a lot. In a 2007 survey of prices at 170 funeral homes in western and central Washington state, the nonprofit People's Memorial Association found that the price for simple cremation in the Seattle area ranged from $425 to more than $2,800.
Select the simplest casket. Buying a $5,000 mahogany casket if a loved one's body is soon to be burned to ashes makes little sense. The Funeral Rule requires a funeral home to offer a cost-effective alternative such as an unfinished coffin or a heavy cardboard enclosure to house the body for its trip to the crematorium, where it will be burned along with the body. Ask for one. No state or local law requires a casket for cremation.
Ask the funeral home if a casket can be rented if the body is to be viewed before cremation.
If the total cost of direct cremation is more than $1,000 or so, even in the most expensive areas, "that's not a fair price," says Slocum. "This is not a lot of work for the funeral director." In many places the price should be closer to $600, Leonard says.
Avoid a big-ticket urn and columbarium. Vessels to store the deceased's ashes can easily cost hundreds -- sometimes thousands -- of dollars.
"Some funeral homes try to guilt families into buying more-expensive urns by stamping 'temporary container' on the outside of the cardboard or plastic box that the remains are returned in," Slocum says.
Don't be pressured into buying a lavish urn, says Lisa Carlson, a consumer advocate and the author of "Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love." Or, eschew an urn for a tasteful piece of pottery or other vessel, Carlson recommends. And scattering the ashes in the ocean or on a favorite mountain -- or simply keeping them at home -- can save thousands of dollars for a burial plot or a columbarium, a building that holds ashes.
Create your own memorial. Elaborate services held in a rented mortuary chapel can be expensive and feel awkward, say Leonard and others. She recommends holding a memorial service, without the body, in a place that meant much to the deceased -- a church, a Fraternal Order of Eagles hall, the family's beach house, a park or an art gallery. Instead of lavish flowers, decorate with mementos that evoke the person's life -- photo albums, Dad's golf clubs, diplomas, perhaps some favorite foods.
Join the Funeral Consumers Alliance or a memorial society. In addition to providing information about funeral options in their area, the 110 memorial societies nationwide that are affiliated with the nonprofit Funeral Consumers Alliance frequently arrange discount funerals with local mortuaries.
For example, for a $25 lifetime membership in the Seattle-area People's Memorial Association, the nation's largest co-op with nearly 100,000 members, a person is able to purchase a $649 direct cremation -- about 50% cheaper than some "list" prices, says former Executive Director Carolyn Hayek. Members also receive discounts on more elaborate options. Tired of high prices, the group even opened a member-owner funeral home recently.
Saying goodbye. Some people need to physically say goodbye to a loved one. That still doesn't necessitate embalming. If relatives live nearby, "it costs nothing to have the family gather around the body at the time of death, as compared to a formal viewing at a funeral home," says Hayek, formerly of People's Memorial Association. If the person dies at home, "you do not have to immediately call the funeral home to pick up the body."
Caskets. One of the best places to save money on funeral services is the casket. No other single item is so expensive. A metal casket today now costs more than $2,000. Go to a funeral home and find an appropriate casket, then call others in town and comparison-shop. Prices can sometimes vary by hundreds of dollars. Skip the caskets with special seals that can raise a casket's price by several hundred dollars; no seal will preserve the dead. Even greater savings can be found by shopping on the Web, where companies will sell the same caskets at less than half the price the funeral homes do and ship the casket to a funeral home overnight or in a few days.
Also consider bypassing high-end metal and wooden coffins entirely. You can purchase a simple, well-crafted pine casket at 5% of the cost of the most opulent polished bronze coffin. It will be more kind to the environment and ultimately will serve the dead just as well.
Clothing. Bury the deceased person in his or her favorite clothes, rather than in a new suit.
Grave liners and vaults. Most cemeteries require that a coffin in a grave must be surrounded by concrete walls so that the ground doesn't settle over time. These "grave liners," though simple, can cost a few hundred dollars. Call funeral homes to find the best price. Don't be pressured into buying a "burial vault," a more extensive liner that can cost much more but is unnecessary, say consumer advocates.
I also looked at survey numbers for peoples views on funerals.Other survey findings include the following:
1. Funerals matter more than ever
* 92% of those 40 and older said the funeral industry provides meaning and value to the arrangement process, an increase from 86% in 2004
* 95% said that the service was helpful in paying tribute to or commemorating the life of a loved one, a 6% increase from 2004
* 87% said that the service was an important part in helping them begin the healing process after the death of a loved one, a 9-point increase from 2004
Why does this matter? This means more and more people are relizing that funerals are important, and if more people are going to have and prepare for funerals they should be knowledge able in this area.
The $11 billion-a-year industry is largely comprised of privately run firms, with 89 percent of all funeral homes being owned by families, individuals or small independent corporations. What this means, that the cost of tradition has just gotten a profit motive. Paul Dwyer, who has worked a consultant on the funeral industry for 25 years, said that although satisfaction rates were high there was evidence that the unique circumstances of its work allowed prices to rise more rapidly than in other services.
"A funeral is a purchase that is often made suddenly – it is very much a distress purchase," he said. "The overwhelming majority of people just go to one funeral director and take the price they are given. People are uncomfortable with shopping around. Customer surveys show that the industry does a fine job - 75 per cent rate the service at eight out of ten or above – but there is just not the commercial pressure, which in turn means that prices creep up."
Although funeral homes seem to forget that they are dealing with people who would not like to go in debt there are some funerals that listen to peoples respects. Denise Kantor, from Cruse Bereavement, the country’s largest bereavement charity, said people should not overly worry about whether they can afford a funeral. "Most funeral directors will bend over backwards to accommodate your needs because they understand this is not shopping in M&S, they're dealing with real and raw emotions," she said. Although funeral homes are based on a profit motive there are some that relize they are still dealing with greiving people. In school we had a guest vistors come in that work in the funeral field. Although they could only talk for his company in specific they relized this is an emotionally unstable time in the decesed family member's lives, and said thier soul perpose at work is to try to better serve the people and get involved in each case as best as they can. One of them said that they get so involed they she cried at a funeral for which she didnt even no the man personally, but was there emotionally for the wife. In conclusion one should be aware of the options given to them and should not be afraid to dig around a topic that affects most people. Most importantly people should be wise in the way they go about this process(Care of the dead), not only for the decesed but for one self as well.
Citaions:
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/RetirementandWills/PlanYourEstate/HowToPlanAFuneral.aspx
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7762640.stm
http://www.mindbranch.com/Funeral-Homes-Competitive-R237-201/
http://funeralhomecolumbiasc.com/study/
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/funeral-costs-jump-but-too-few-will-haggle-1784311.html
Sunday, May 8, 2011
HW 52
Precis:
June Knights Nadle: Morticians Diaries: Nadle gives a recollection of true stories from her career as a mortician, starting each chapter explaining how death impacted her life and ending them with a story from a client then her final thoughts on it. She writes hoping to give insight to death and to show from a perspective of dead-honest truth from a life spent with death
Quotes:
"....Eric would learn and grow from this death. Events such as this help most of us to mature, becoming more aware of the fragility of life and better appreciating our loved ones while they are still with us" (pg 97)
"Somtimes we worry so much about our reputaion that we put what others think before what's really important in life: the people we love most."(pg 102)
" Somtimes in life we learn things the hardest way"(pg 108)
"Confronting this reality [death] brings with it a kind of peace that denial never offers. It allows us to imbrace life, in all its fleeting glory and suffering" (pg 130)
The final third of the book was about how to learn and grow from death and care of the dead. This one story tells of a person who was gay but because of his choise his parents rejected him. Little did they know his time was about to be up due to AIDS. When he did die his parents felt horrible for not getting intouch with their son and learned that life is to short to hold grudges. In another story a father was tormented by the death of his daughter because of how he treated her. Because he was diapointed in the fact that his child was a girl and not a boy he took it out on her but when she died he was tormeented for the words he could not take back. It was made aware that people in the U.S try to hide death by not being involved and letting others take care of our loved ones. Also becasue of the emotional shock death brings to those who shun it, they fear it. The following quote answers why very well:
"Confronting this reality [death] brings with it a kind of peace that denial never offers. It allows us to imbrace life, in all its fleeting glory and suffering" (pg 130)
I agree with this quote, when people try to deny the inevitable, they will be thrown for a loop when it happens. Some people take life for granted and are especially devistated at the loss of a loved one. When we accept it as part of life, for which it is, one can not only know how to understand how to deal with death but how to apprecaite life for all its worth and enjoy the short time we have alive. This reminds me of the food unit in the way it showed how understanding can lead to enjoyment. When I began the food unit I thought it was simple, you eat food, some is good for you and some is bad. Even though I knew this I didnt elaborate and remained ignorant in my food way, partly because I did not want to find fault in the way I was living. As the unit went on and I saw the opposing view points I learned to see the nightmare behind my foodways and made changes to it, and becasue of so was not only happy but wiser in my food ways.
June Knights Nadle: Morticians Diaries: Nadle gives a recollection of true stories from her career as a mortician, starting each chapter explaining how death impacted her life and ending them with a story from a client then her final thoughts on it. She writes hoping to give insight to death and to show from a perspective of dead-honest truth from a life spent with death
Quotes:
"....Eric would learn and grow from this death. Events such as this help most of us to mature, becoming more aware of the fragility of life and better appreciating our loved ones while they are still with us" (pg 97)
"Somtimes we worry so much about our reputaion that we put what others think before what's really important in life: the people we love most."(pg 102)
" Somtimes in life we learn things the hardest way"(pg 108)
"Confronting this reality [death] brings with it a kind of peace that denial never offers. It allows us to imbrace life, in all its fleeting glory and suffering" (pg 130)
The final third of the book was about how to learn and grow from death and care of the dead. This one story tells of a person who was gay but because of his choise his parents rejected him. Little did they know his time was about to be up due to AIDS. When he did die his parents felt horrible for not getting intouch with their son and learned that life is to short to hold grudges. In another story a father was tormented by the death of his daughter because of how he treated her. Because he was diapointed in the fact that his child was a girl and not a boy he took it out on her but when she died he was tormeented for the words he could not take back. It was made aware that people in the U.S try to hide death by not being involved and letting others take care of our loved ones. Also becasue of the emotional shock death brings to those who shun it, they fear it. The following quote answers why very well:
"Confronting this reality [death] brings with it a kind of peace that denial never offers. It allows us to imbrace life, in all its fleeting glory and suffering" (pg 130)
I agree with this quote, when people try to deny the inevitable, they will be thrown for a loop when it happens. Some people take life for granted and are especially devistated at the loss of a loved one. When we accept it as part of life, for which it is, one can not only know how to understand how to deal with death but how to apprecaite life for all its worth and enjoy the short time we have alive. This reminds me of the food unit in the way it showed how understanding can lead to enjoyment. When I began the food unit I thought it was simple, you eat food, some is good for you and some is bad. Even though I knew this I didnt elaborate and remained ignorant in my food way, partly because I did not want to find fault in the way I was living. As the unit went on and I saw the opposing view points I learned to see the nightmare behind my foodways and made changes to it, and becasue of so was not only happy but wiser in my food ways.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
HW 51
Precis:
June Knights Nadle: Morticians Diaries: Nadle gives a recollection of true stories from her career as a mortician, starting each chapter explaining how death impacted her life and ending them with a story from a client then her final thoughts on it. She writes hoping to give insight to death and to show from a perspective of dead-honest truth from a life spent with death
Quotes:
"A funeral is a pause in our life to acknowledge that a life has been lived. It allows mourners to remeber and honor that life in a special way. It is a chance for family and friends to gather and give emotional and and physical support to one another. It provides closure for some It brings to all of our minds the reality and finality of death" (pg 52)
"I had to accept the fact that trails are just part of life" (pg 42)
The second part of the book really focused on the importance of the funeral itself. Although funerals are made for the dead the are to be experianced for the living. The author gives examples of people who . One of them was a woman named Mary, she was at her sons funeral and then a gang related drive-by happened, although advised not to go she knew the importance of greiving and still went even thought there was a chance of another drive-by. There was another lady who had lost her husband but he didnt want a funeral although he didnt want one she said she needed one, which was true. Before that she was in a mental rut in her life but after they had a nice funeral she was able to move on with her life after getting closure. Anotheer example was the lady who lost her husband but was mad at him, because she was left with three boys to take care of. At first she didnt care what happened to her husbands creamated remains and told the mortician to throw it anywhere, but the mortician did not and waited for the lady to get an answer. Later she came back glad to find the creamains left because she actually wanted them buried so her longing boy can be with thier father. The lady realized she was being selfish and that funerals affected more then just her. All these examples showed that the funeral was very impportant and that had they not wanted or attended it, its effects on the coping and healing would be stumped.
June Knights Nadle: Morticians Diaries: Nadle gives a recollection of true stories from her career as a mortician, starting each chapter explaining how death impacted her life and ending them with a story from a client then her final thoughts on it. She writes hoping to give insight to death and to show from a perspective of dead-honest truth from a life spent with death
Quotes:
"A funeral is a pause in our life to acknowledge that a life has been lived. It allows mourners to remeber and honor that life in a special way. It is a chance for family and friends to gather and give emotional and and physical support to one another. It provides closure for some It brings to all of our minds the reality and finality of death" (pg 52)
"I had to accept the fact that trails are just part of life" (pg 42)
The second part of the book really focused on the importance of the funeral itself. Although funerals are made for the dead the are to be experianced for the living. The author gives examples of people who . One of them was a woman named Mary, she was at her sons funeral and then a gang related drive-by happened, although advised not to go she knew the importance of greiving and still went even thought there was a chance of another drive-by. There was another lady who had lost her husband but he didnt want a funeral although he didnt want one she said she needed one, which was true. Before that she was in a mental rut in her life but after they had a nice funeral she was able to move on with her life after getting closure. Anotheer example was the lady who lost her husband but was mad at him, because she was left with three boys to take care of. At first she didnt care what happened to her husbands creamated remains and told the mortician to throw it anywhere, but the mortician did not and waited for the lady to get an answer. Later she came back glad to find the creamains left because she actually wanted them buried so her longing boy can be with thier father. The lady realized she was being selfish and that funerals affected more then just her. All these examples showed that the funeral was very impportant and that had they not wanted or attended it, its effects on the coping and healing would be stumped.
Monday, May 2, 2011
HW 49
Lora,
One thing that stuck out to me was when you interviewed the second guy, and got his answer. I don't think I ever heard of that kind of funeral before and it kind of stuck out to me because this whole time I kept only thinking about burial and cremation and totally forgot that there are other options, and some are very "unique"! It made me wonder what makes a burial a burial. This was a good post but maybe next you could put your connections to yourself in a summery paragraph( to help the reader).
Alex,
Its cool that you focused on the "why" in your interview. Although it is import to know what are the options in the care of the dead, I think it is very important to know "why" which made your post interesting. One suggestion would be to put your opinion on the topic in (if you can), but other then that it was a good read.
Beatrice,
I like the day of the dead concept that you brought up because to many times people put a loved one in a casket and then purposely try to forget because of the shock that has come to them , sometimes partly because people are scared of death and don't want to accept it as something that happens, but in Mexico they have a day just for that. I also like the idea you brought up at the end about "not really dying", its an interesting way to look at it. Overall I liked this post.
One thing that stuck out to me was when you interviewed the second guy, and got his answer. I don't think I ever heard of that kind of funeral before and it kind of stuck out to me because this whole time I kept only thinking about burial and cremation and totally forgot that there are other options, and some are very "unique"! It made me wonder what makes a burial a burial. This was a good post but maybe next you could put your connections to yourself in a summery paragraph( to help the reader).
Alex,
Its cool that you focused on the "why" in your interview. Although it is import to know what are the options in the care of the dead, I think it is very important to know "why" which made your post interesting. One suggestion would be to put your opinion on the topic in (if you can), but other then that it was a good read.
Beatrice,
I like the day of the dead concept that you brought up because to many times people put a loved one in a casket and then purposely try to forget because of the shock that has come to them , sometimes partly because people are scared of death and don't want to accept it as something that happens, but in Mexico they have a day just for that. I also like the idea you brought up at the end about "not really dying", its an interesting way to look at it. Overall I liked this post.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
HW 50
Precis:
June Knights Nadle: Mortician Diaries: June Nadle gives a recollection of true stories from her career as a mortician, starting each chapter explaining how death impacted her life and ending them with a story from a client then her final thoughts on it. She writes hoping to give insight to death and to show from a perspective of dead-honest truth from a life spent with death.
Interesting Quotes:
"The death rate in this world is one per person" (pg 1)
"When we don't live in awareness about deaths inevibility, its finality brings with it so many wishes and regrets."(pg 3)
"Shock can be natures anesthetic, numbing our intense pain." (pg 24)
"The more we know about death the less we fear it. And when fear isn't blocking us were better prepared to deal with whatever life (and death) sends our way." (pg 32)
Something that I found interesting that was discussed during the first part of the book was all the example stories that the author gives during the book she connected back to her life. like when she dealt with the mother that wouldnt let go of her baby, although it had been dead for 5 hour. She felt compassion because she also was a mom. Or when she helped the lady who lost the family pet. She related it to herself when she wondered what would happen if she had lost her own family pet. When I read this I also thought what happens if I lose my dog also? Because she relates it back to herself, it helps one to bring death in perspective to their own situation rather then an abstact thought. thats why I couldn't agree more with this quote:
"We undestand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love- Madame de Stael
June Knights Nadle: Mortician Diaries: June Nadle gives a recollection of true stories from her career as a mortician, starting each chapter explaining how death impacted her life and ending them with a story from a client then her final thoughts on it. She writes hoping to give insight to death and to show from a perspective of dead-honest truth from a life spent with death.
Interesting Quotes:
"The death rate in this world is one per person" (pg 1)
"When we don't live in awareness about deaths inevibility, its finality brings with it so many wishes and regrets."(pg 3)
"Shock can be natures anesthetic, numbing our intense pain." (pg 24)
"The more we know about death the less we fear it. And when fear isn't blocking us were better prepared to deal with whatever life (and death) sends our way." (pg 32)
Something that I found interesting that was discussed during the first part of the book was all the example stories that the author gives during the book she connected back to her life. like when she dealt with the mother that wouldnt let go of her baby, although it had been dead for 5 hour. She felt compassion because she also was a mom. Or when she helped the lady who lost the family pet. She related it to herself when she wondered what would happen if she had lost her own family pet. When I read this I also thought what happens if I lose my dog also? Because she relates it back to herself, it helps one to bring death in perspective to their own situation rather then an abstact thought. thats why I couldn't agree more with this quote:
"We undestand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love- Madame de Stael
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
HW 48
For my family's perspective on care of the dead I interviewed my Mom and my sister. The first question I asked was what kind of viewing would they have at their funeral, open casket or closed? Both my mom and my sister said they would like a open casket funeral because its the final time that any one will see them, and if anyone would like to see them and the casket was closed it would be rude to that person. After that I asked How important is it that a person be prepped in make up to look good at a viewing? My mom said that in her opinion its better if the dead person is presented to look good because since at the viewing this is the last time anyone will lay eyes on them they should have a very good last impression to be remembered by. My sister on the other hand said it is better that they look natural because there should be nothing to cover up since the person is dead and that death is a natural thing people should look as they should.
The next question I asked was do they agree with the statement: We are removed from the process of care of the dead? What I mean by this is the process in which we hire people to take care off and then removed the now deceased. Both of them agreed after thinking for a bit. My sister said because some people don't like to be near the dead because of the feelings they bring and get or the fact that its a bit gross. The next question was asked based off of the fact that people get removed from the process of the care of the dead. If given the chance to help prep the body at a funeral would you? My sister immediately said no seeing how its weird and kind of gross. Even when I asked if it was a family member, she thought about it and still said no. My mom on the other hand said that if it was the will of the person that she could help she would, but as long as she didn't have to do too much with the face.
When I interviewed my family I was expecting their answers to be some what similar to the dominant social practices of the U.S, and was somewhat surprised by some answers. Firstly I know people like to have the bodies at viewings look nice and almost alive (like they are just sleeping) but when I heard my sister say that it shouldn't be a big deal and that people should look natural at viewings I was surprised. Most surprisingly was my mom agreeing to help prep a body if asked. I know a lot of people who wouldn't even think twice about this since its very weird in the U.S, so hearing that took me by surprise , I'm not even sure if I would!
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